Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Silly girl-

I never thought I could get past my pety assumptions
I look at people to fix them, at these social functions
I put my head down to be coy, and build an incubator
In my head to be a human, three hours later.

It's not my will, though I'll tell myself otherwise
It's these shots of cheap whiskey, and this flashy stimuli
It's these minutes I spend thinking I can't tug on my shirt
The way I need to calm down, but be socially alert

The way I can't question anyone else but myself
The way I always look at the trophies on my shelf
Those easy explatives that get in the way
That help me communicate, but aren't what I want to say

Silly girl, another self- destroyer. Another example
of a perfectly wholesome middle class angst- ramble
No reason to complain but my own made up reasons
That still aren't my decision. That don't pass with the seasons

That won't, can't, go away no matter how hard I've tried.
I thought if I jabbed long enough, something would've died.

No one else understands.
I'm so glad.
I'm so glad no one else understands.


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